The Tension We Breathe

I joined the Colorado Army National Guard in 2009 and had my twenty second birthday while completing 11/C infantry mortarman training at Fort Benning, GA. I applied for the Routt County Sheriff's Office shortly after basic training, and my career in law enforcement and the military began. Life was busy! Drill weekends with the National Guard at an armory three hours away from home, twelve hour graveyard shifts in the jail, all the while spending as much time as I could with my wife and kids.

Life was good, I was supporting my family, serving my country and community, and being dad and husband. However, I couldn't see how working in a high stress and violent environment for years was affecting my nervous system until it was almost too late. 

All fifteen years of my law enforcement career was spent in the detentions division. I found myself climbing the chain of command and eventually was promoted to Lieutenant. Being a smaller agency we collaborated a lot with our patrol division. As a firearms instructor, defensive tactics instructor, and crisis negotiator I had the honor of training some of the best humans that I had the privilege to work alongside.

To me, there is no greater responsibility than having the public's trust in their safety. I strived my entire career to embody the importance of being a professional, compassionate, caring deputy. At the same time remain I had to remain vigilant, aware, and ready to make the split second choice to take another human life if needed to defend one's self or others in the line of duty.

To be in that state of mind, twelve hours a day, sometimes longer with overtime. Everyday of your career takes its toll on your mind and body, and it doesn't matter how tough you think you are. I had a 15 min drive home from the jail, I used to call it my 15 minutes from hell to heaven. I had 15 minutes coming from the worst environment possible to the warm loving home my wife and I created. Sure no problem, easy to switch from one mind set to the next, or so I thought. Life decided to up the ante. 

I lost one friend to suicide and two friends to cancer during my career. Young men with families and a lot of life left to live. The stress of the job and the inherent tough guy mentality of law enforcement makes us bury things deep down so we can carry on with the hard work. But my nervous system was completely cooked.

I helped build programs to help individuals struggling with mental health and substance use. I preached looking out for each other and wellness. No matter how much I preached it and saw counselors, I knew deep down it was not sustainable, especially if I wanted to continue to be married. I wanted to be there for my wife and kids, not die of a heart attack at 40 years old because I was so passionate about my career path and helping others.

I left law enforcement in October 2024. I thought the weight would be lifted and I could begin the process of healing my nervous system. Again, I was the mental health guy for so many years. Nothing prepared me for the night sweats, waking up panicked and out of breath, having nightmares, and some of the other classic PTSD symptoms. Even understanding what was happening to me and my nervous system didn't help prevent these issues, because the damage done over the years was so deeply embedded in my psychophysiology.

It wasn't until my brothers introduced me to breathwork and Chuck McGee III that I actually began to feel a huge shift in my wellbeing. The more I practiced the more I felt the weight lifting, focus increasing, and my nervous system rebuilding. Breathwork dramatically changed my life and has been way more beneficial than the laundry list of medications I tried.

Don't get me wrong, medication has its benefits and place among overall health, but the benefit from breathwork clearly shined through. Even though I am no longer in the military or law enforcement, my heart is still very much with those who serve.

My passion now is focused on providing these breathwork tools to military, first responders, the incarcerated population, and communities as a whole. We all deserve the opportunity to live our best life, and I am incredibly grateful to my brothers and Chuck for opening my eyes to this life changing practice and look forward to helping people discover the same thing.       

Joe Boyle, Boyle Breath Works, Chief Instructor